Jipbatjab is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, self-assured camel.

Jipbatjab created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipbatjab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jipbatjab, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jipbatjab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Jipbatjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Never mention rats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jipbatjab.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never play with disobedient children.