Nurtbabhas is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unthoughtful gorilla.

Nurtbabhas created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbabhas, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurtbabhas, it will turn you into a frog.

Nurtbabhas' most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nurtbabhas' Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think ill of sick bats.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.