Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, moody pigeon.

Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok's Holy Commandments

1. Zodjarnfob Lipvidyok loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about dark matter near aardvarks while wearing cyan shoes and balancing four lead spheres on your face.

4. Do not hurt ducks.

5. Never eat turnips.