Hinfetstig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous spider.

Hinfetstig created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinfetstig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hinfetstig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hinfetstig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Hinfetstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Hinfetstig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.