Kemweghudkapfosshas is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented troll.

Kemweghudkapfosshas created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemweghudkapfosshas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemweghudkapfosshas, he will turn you into a puffin.

Kemweghudkapfosshas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Kemweghudkapfosshas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing green dresses.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kemweghudkapfosshas.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.