Habdusstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awesome warg.

Habdusstaf created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habdusstaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Habdusstaf, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Habdusstaf's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Habdusstaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Habdusstaf three times a day.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about spacetime near monkeys while wearing fawn coats and balancing five silicon spheres on your face.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.