Cidlaphub is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, strong fish.

Cidlaphub created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidlaphub, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cidlaphub, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cidlaphub's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cidlaphub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about whales.

3. Never feed spinach to voles while wearing gray shirts.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat green fruit.