Vigdubzan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, clever rat.

Vigdubzan created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigdubzan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vigdubzan, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vigdubzan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vigdubzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not covet oxen.