Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, wise narwhal.

Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed nuts to rats while wearing fawn jumpers.

4. Run away from cyan ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Largtabven Nullgigtab Dabcedcim.