Fitbellvad Kemcamflow is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, tranquil slug.

Fitbellvad Kemcamflow created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbellvad Kemcamflow, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fitbellvad Kemcamflow, he will turn you into a duck.

Fitbellvad Kemcamflow's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fitbellvad Kemcamflow's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured turtles.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never talk about manatees.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always help monkeys.