Kimnurgid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, staggering centipede.

Kimnurgid created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Kimnurgid, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kimnurgid, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kimnurgid's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kimnurgid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Kimnurgid loves shrews, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.