Shavjatkabmin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, astonishing meerkat.

Shavjatkabmin created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavjatkabmin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Shavjatkabmin, it will come to you in dreams.

Shavjatkabmin's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Shavjatkabmin's Holy Commandments

1. Shavjatkabmin loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Run away from fawn gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Always wear brown.