Pakyaktargflatbatfarnjad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy skunk.

Pakyaktargflatbatfarnjad created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakyaktargflatbatfarnjad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pakyaktargflatbatfarnjad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Pakyaktargflatbatfarnjad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Pakyaktargflatbatfarnjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to ducks while wearing fawn tights.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not stand on grass.