Bigjenlun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous squid.

Bigjenlun created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigjenlun, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bigjenlun, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bigjenlun's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bigjenlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Bigjenlun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not keep five doves in a large pit.

4. Never wear purple shoes.

5. Never sprint in holy places.