Tailnullflan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, overgenerous crocodile.

Tailnullflan created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailnullflan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tailnullflan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tailnullflan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tailnullflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Always look after injured mites.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must pray to Tailnullflan six times a day.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.