Tinbigtit is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, smart finch.

Tinbigtit created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Tinbigtit, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tinbigtit, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tinbigtit's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tinbigtit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five porpoises approach from the west.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never sing near sheep.

4. Never feed cucumbers to seals while wearing shirts.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.