Kemnel is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, ill-tempered centipede.

Kemnel created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kemnel, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kemnel, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kemnel's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kemnel's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always look after injured swans.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.