Yarptiggad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful rhinoceros.

Yarptiggad created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptiggad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarptiggad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yarptiggad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yarptiggad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Do not take Yarptiggad's name in vain.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.