Ingwotfod is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating finch.

Ingwotfod created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ingwotfod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ingwotfod, he will be very unhappy.

Ingwotfod's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Ingwotfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to snails while wearing violet trousers.

5. Feed all hungry swans.