Bonflanren is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless hyena.

Bonflanren created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonflanren, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonflanren, she will make you grow a tail.

Bonflanren's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bonflanren's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Bonflanren loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed rice to goats while wearing dresses.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonflanren.