Rulnattetti is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, astonishing shrew.

Rulnattetti created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulnattetti, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rulnattetti, he will turn you into a mole.

Rulnattetti's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Rulnattetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. Never think about dark matter near capybaras while wearing purple skirts and balancing seven copper spheres on your legs.