Dogcusskim Satquam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, stupid cobra.

Dogcusskim Satquam created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogcusskim Satquam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dogcusskim Satquam, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Dogcusskim Satquam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Dogcusskim Satquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Dogcusskim Satquam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Run away if five snails approach from the west.