Cetwik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, effective goat.

Cetwik created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetwik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cetwik, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cetwik's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cetwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Learn five new languages a year.