Tonkvabhud is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable cat.

Tonkvabhud created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkvabhud, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tonkvabhud, she will torture you forever.

Tonkvabhud's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tonkvabhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Tonkvabhud loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about special relativity.