Gutcunjig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fast hummingbird.

Gutcunjig created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutcunjig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gutcunjig, she will turn you into a goat.

Gutcunjig's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gutcunjig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Gutcunjig must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Gutcunjig in the centre of the settlement.