Hanfummut Higjattip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, almighty fish.

Hanfummut Higjattip created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanfummut Higjattip, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hanfummut Higjattip, she will not invite you to parties.

Hanfummut Higjattip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hanfummut Higjattip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hanfummut Higjattip.

2. Never think about dark matter near geese while wearing green shorts and balancing eight copper spheres on your chest.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.