Sognartwipflag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, vain hippopotamus.

Sognartwipflag created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sognartwipflag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sognartwipflag, she will turn you into a frog.

Sognartwipflag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sognartwipflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never laugh in the presence of porpoises.

3. Sognartwipflag loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Run away if four horses approach from the north.

5. Never feed corn to moths while wearing fawn shirts.