Gepmumcar is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witty fly.

Gepmumcar created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepmumcar, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gepmumcar, she will cry a lot.

Gepmumcar's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gepmumcar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gepmumcar on top of all buildings.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to otters while wearing fawn scarves.

4. Never hurt mice.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.