Cinmifvag is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciless bear.

Cinmifvag created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinmifvag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cinmifvag, she will turn you into a frog.

Cinmifvag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cinmifvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about gravity near great tits while wearing gray tights and balancing three zinc spheres on your back.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.