Futbogpodmatwad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonest badger.

Futbogpodmatwad created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Futbogpodmatwad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Futbogpodmatwad, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Futbogpodmatwad's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Futbogpodmatwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about spacetime near voles while wearing purple dresses.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Pigs are not to be trusted.