Tamtik is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, stupid wasp.

Tamtik created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamtik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tamtik, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Tamtik's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tamtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. Do not commit murder.