Stercussnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, loving porpoise.

Stercussnurl created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stercussnurl, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stercussnurl, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Stercussnurl's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Stercussnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Stercussnurl loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stercussnurl.