Tabgidmet is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty narwhal.

Tabgidmet created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabgidmet, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tabgidmet, she will manifest in front of you.

Tabgidmet's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tabgidmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to manatees while wearing stockings.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tabgidmet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look after injured badgers.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.