Yartargbarn Figkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, emotional dingo.

Yartargbarn Figkik created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartargbarn Figkik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yartargbarn Figkik, she will not care at all.

Yartargbarn Figkik's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Yartargbarn Figkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never sit in the presence of goats.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Worship no other gods but Yartargbarn Figkik.

5. Never look in ponds.