Sagsomlen is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, omniscient grasshopper.

Sagsomlen created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagsomlen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sagsomlen, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sagsomlen's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sagsomlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of gulls.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never chant near ants.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.