Kemnigvog is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, able aardvark.

Kemnigvog created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemnigvog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kemnigvog, she will throw large rocks at you.

Kemnigvog's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Kemnigvog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Retreat if nine voles approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Never think about chromosomes.