Hakappflab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, capable beaver.

Hakappflab created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakappflab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hakappflab, he will cry a lot.

Hakappflab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hakappflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about dark energy near voles while wearing green shirts and balancing eight iron spheres on your legs.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never sit near sheep.

5. Never paint your back white.