Jarnyargud is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, all-powerful faun.

Jarnyargud created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnyargud, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jarnyargud, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jarnyargud's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jarnyargud's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven turtles approach from the north.

2. Do not kill squirrels.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Never think ill of sick snails.

5. Never think about asteroids.