Cimbidvig is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic dugong.

Cimbidvig created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimbidvig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimbidvig, he will be very sad.

Cimbidvig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cimbidvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Never sing in the presence of dogs.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing red boots and balancing five iron spheres on your back.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Do not listen to music.