Shavbimyik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, quiet owl.

Shavbimyik created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavbimyik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Shavbimyik, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Shavbimyik's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Shavbimyik's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about bacteria.