Jankapdad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating meerkat.

Jankapdad created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jankapdad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jankapdad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jankapdad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Jankapdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not stand on grass.