Tomdibbarnmumsandced is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, temperamental snail.

Tomdibbarnmumsandced created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomdibbarnmumsandced, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tomdibbarnmumsandced, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tomdibbarnmumsandced's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tomdibbarnmumsandced's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to turtles while wearing blue corsets.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always take life seriously.