Larnfobbog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, selfish aardvark.

Larnfobbog created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnfobbog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Larnfobbog, he will turn you into a mouse.

Larnfobbog's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Larnfobbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Larnfobbog loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.