Tenzendiss is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane squid.

Tenzendiss created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenzendiss, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tenzendiss, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tenzendiss' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tenzendiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tenzendiss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.