Godteenfag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating pigeon.

Godteenfag created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Godteenfag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Godteenfag, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Godteenfag's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Godteenfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

5. Always help whales in need.