Vagdobnib is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent tapir.

Vagdobnib created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagdobnib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vagdobnib, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vagdobnib's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vagdobnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill seals.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed lots of gooseberries to horses while wearing turquoise scarves.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.