Binfabyik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful cow.

Binfabyik created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Binfabyik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Binfabyik, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Binfabyik's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Binfabyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt nematodes.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Binfabyik.

4. Always help geese in need.

5. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.