Sastimlarnlab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful mongoose.

Sastimlarnlab created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sastimlarnlab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sastimlarnlab, it will destroy your home planet.

Sastimlarnlab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sastimlarnlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not hurt grasshopers.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

5. Never talk about optics near rats while wearing indigo rings.