Wonontligvad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, effective porpoise.

Wonontligvad created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Wonontligvad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wonontligvad, it will turn you into a rock.

Wonontligvad's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wonontligvad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Respect your elders.