Wapmumfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited dolphin.

Wapmumfoss created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wapmumfoss, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wapmumfoss, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wapmumfoss' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Wapmumfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapmumfoss.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must pray to Wapmumfoss four times a day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.